That was funny!! huh?!!

A funny thing happened on my way to school. Funny things happening with me are pretty common. you see , I am a confused soul.Most of the times i am surrounded by heaps of  'whats' 'whys' 'hows' & 'whens'.My mind is preoccupied with all sorts of things and reality certainly has no room in there.I have many funny stories in my kitty,which i shall post in near future but for the time being feed your humor hungry stomach this.

I was on my way to school on that particular day. Back then i used commute in an auto with my mother by my side.I was sitting towards the open end of the auto,I preferred that place than the window seat- i loved how the air used to brush past me and kiss my cheeks lovingly and at times hurriedly.I saw the approaching school building , even before the auto came to a halt i pulled my legs out.The upper half of my body was inside the auto  and the lower half was completely outside it.The auto still kept moving,I drew my legs on the ground to keep pace with it.My legs hurriedly moved with the auto as i held the handle in death grip.Imagine the look of horror on my mother's face,when she saw her teenage daughter performing death defying stunts.I screamed as hard as i could, at last the driver heard me or maybe saw my stunts in the mirror and stopped the auto. I hung from the auto like tarzan.I somehow had managed a safe landing in front of the school premises. My mother had lost all her colors and went totally pale while i chose to go red with shame. The whole school was staring at me & so were the people on the road.I laughed at myself to ease the situation. Its always better to laugh at yourselves before other people start doing that.It did work out.now the people were laughing with me & not at me.
Though after that day my mum never allowed me to sit towards the open end of the auto.No more coochie cooing with the wind. huh!!

This post is written for write over weekend initiative of blogadda

If You Call It Love

I was never a fan of the rains and neither did i ever took joy in dancing in it but every time it down poured in our neighborhood I  would secretly sneak from the windows and look at  the park nearby. Everytime it rained i could see her, dancing and jumping , splashing the water accumulated in the small craters  to great heights. Holding the frills that decorated the near end of her cute little frock she would dance in circles. With every pitter patter you could listen to her melodious laughs. Her jet black hairs, now totally drenched in the rain would fall over her face  in almost a poetic & artistic manner, making her look even more exotic & angelic. I could catch a glimpse of her only when it rained, many times did  i try to search her but all in vain. She seemed to be tailor made only to dance in the rain, as if she owed her entire existence to it.

I have moved out from that neighbourhood now but even after all these years I think of her. An engima she was to me and shall always continue to be.


this post has been written for five sentence fiction with the prompt word rain

I See You

Every step you take
I follow you through
Every word you utter
I Listen, I do
You walk to places new
& I am the shadow that lurks inches away from you
Your sleepless nights & tormented days
Are the pleasures I live for
Everything you do
I see you

You walk through roads empty
In the dress I loved the most
My maleness you called for
I rush to you
You sense me & swiftly move through
A smirk crosses me
Silly girl! you never knew
Everything you do
I see you

Vague

A deep sense of vagueness and nothingness grips me as I see her pale & dead.

I hold onto my tears still in a bleak hope that she would get up and smile back at me.

All of this is a nightmare I tell myself.One last time I peck  my mother's cold forehead.The clouds outside form clusters, paying a last tribute to the dear departed. No more can I hold my emotions back. I cry along with the sky.

This drabble is written for friday fictioneers 

MY KIDNEY NEEDS WATER

At some wee hour in the morning, i woke up irritated by a cacophony coming from somewhere i was yet to find.
'' Juhi! Juhi!!'' said a shrill voice.
'' Who the hell is this!!'' I  asked holding my brother's baseball bat in death grip.I was ready to pull off a di maggio home run shot with it, the head of that mysterious thing would have served the purpose of the ball.
'' I am gattu'' The voice beamed.
'' Gattu!'' I put on a straight face. Why on earth would someone name their kid as bizarre as a gattu. An  image of a plump person with a giant head and paper thin limbs came in my mind, thats exactly how a gattu fellow can look like.
'' Okay so mr gattu, why cant i see you " 
" Thats because i am inside you" 
" What......... inside me!!! ". I suspiciously looked down upon my body, gazing at it as if it were someone else's. The voice seemed to be coming from the left of my back. My mind gave me weird and hilarious reasons to why i was hearing voices. Maybe the hilsa fish i had for lunch was alive and its doing all the talks or worse, maybe i am losing my mental stability thats why i am hearing voices but soon the rational part of my mind took over, maybe its all just a dream..... pheww. A logical assumption afterall.
" I am your kidney, silly girl" I heard the voice again.
" My kidney!!! " I pinched every inch of my body and slapped myself a good number of times to check whether i was dreaming or not. My swollen face and reddened body told i wasn't. 
" Juhi i need water" my kidney spoke
" water?? why? " 
" Thats because you dont drink enough water"
" Hang on!! First clear this doubt of mine. Every person has two kidneys, how come i have only one"
" Jeezzz you also have two kidneys, dumbo!. Meet my sister gatti. She is a bit shy."
" Hello" Came a timid and hardly audible reply.
Gatti and gattu are my kidneys. Whats next, My brain called bheja & stomach called pettu!!.
" Now some serious business juhi. See i am not a lazy bag like you. I work all day long and for that i need water. I gotta maintain homeostasis yaar!.
" Dude you are my kidney. How dare you call me a lazy bag. Tune mera namak khaya hai " I said with an air of authority.
" I use that ' namak' for your well being. Moreover i flush it out aswell." His tone hardened.
So here i was, at 1:00 am in the morning getting into a serious argument with my very own kidney!!.
" Okay so gattu tell me something about yourself " 
" oh yeah. I am gattu your kidney. I am a porous body with million tiny filters that process around 40 gallons of fluid each day, that much is enough to fill a house's hot water heater "
" When blood passes through me , the filters hold onto the substances you need for eg water & nutrients. Harmful waste and excess of water are routed to baddie ( thats my bladder!) who then flushes it away with urine."
" You know what juhi, it really saddens me that most of the ailments regarding me are never caught on time due to negligience of people. Only when matters get worsen do people come to  know of it. people go on boozing and eating unhealthy, not once thinking how adverse its affect would be on me.''
" So what are we supposed to do " i asked
" Start eating healthy. Cut down on alcohol and most importantly stay hydrated "
" Okay gattu. I'll surely take care of it. "
" by the way would you like to know about my kids "
" Yeah sure. "
" Meet my kids. Calcitrol, erythropoietin and renin "
" hellooo" They sang in unison. 
" Renin, are you a communist " I quipped.
I heard puffing sounds from my within & figured out that i had just angered a prime enzyme of my body.
" Hey! Now where is my water. I like it lukewarm, neither too hot nor too cold "
gattu spoke up.
I gulped down two full glasses of water. No more voices did i hear .Finally, i could take a nap now.

The phone loudly buzzed infront of my ears,I woke up in haste.My science book was wide open infront of me. ' Our excretory system' the heading on page read.
So all of this was just a dream although  i could feel my face was still swollen. Whatever it was, it surely taught me something. I gulped down another glass.So many questions in my mind but i better sleep, the last thing i want know is my brain telling me that i dont give it enough rest.

Duryodhana - The story untold

I am bhanumathi. I see your brows quiver at my mention, who is she - you begin to ask.

 well I am that unfortunate lady who has silently suffered but still continues to be unknown and unmentioned in the milieu pages of the great epic MAHABHARATA. I am king duryodhana's wife. Yes, I am talking about the treacherous,egoistic and power hungry kuru prince that you all know.

Sympathy and pity in equal potions rush through your benevolent hearts as you learn of my ill fate,to be married to such a man, but I earnestly & solemnly don't regret or remorse one bit of it, my love for my lord is pure & unblemished. Having said that, I am not here to shield for his wrongs. I in my right mind with all my senses intact, shall never do that.His insulting draupadi & employing shrewd and unruly tactics to win against his brothers (pandavas) can't and shouldn't be condemned but here I ask you one question ' which mortal in this entire universe is free from all iniquities and is completely chaste?', You race your intellectual and learned mind in many directions but to your immense chagrin, you can't find one satisfactory answer. Every person has streaks of grey in his/her disposition. Even the pandava princes committed their share of sins.So does each one of us.

I knew my lord like no one did. I witnessed him in his true colors.In him was a loyal friend,a caring husband, a good administrator & a skillful tactician.Somehow these facets of him got subdued and undermined, he came out as a devious man sans  endowment. People fail to notice how he went against  everyone and supported karna- when no one knew of his lineage,coronated him and gave him a kingdom of his own.When pandavas were sent to 13 years of exile,yudhishtra decided to check if he (duryodhana) was an inept ruler or not, he sent his messenger to look into the matter.To his utter surprise the messenger heaped praises at him (duryodhana) and hailed him as a worthy ruler.He was a people's man, keeping the needs and wants of the kingdom high on the pedestal.

I remember once karna and I were playing dice in our chambers & karna dominated the game. I sat facing the door of the chamber,when I saw my lord coming ,I got up (as a sign of respect) which karna mistook as gesture of leaving the game. In order to stop me he got hold of my drape,the pearls embroidered on the drape fell upon pulled my the mighty hands of his.  If playing dice with my husband's best friend was not audacious enough,here I was standing with my drape undone and the pearls scattered on the floor. Karna and I both stood tongue tied, preaparing ourselves to the fury that we were to be meted with.He (duryodhana) came towards me and stooped low picking up the pearls.Handing me the pearls he simply asked ' Is picking up the pearls enough or shall I string them aswell'. He had blind faith over the people he loved & maybe that was the reason for his fall.He trusted his crooked uncle shakuni to death,who in turn exploited him for his own selfish motives.

That gruesome day is still fresh in my eyes, the day I saw his lifeless and bloody corpse. Those eyes that lovingly watched over me were now closed for ever. 

He died a valiant death like a true Kshatriya, embracing the goddess of death with open arms.

PS: I dont take rsponsibility of the accuracy of facts mentioned over here. though some are true but others are purely fictional.

Quintet Of Radiance Award

I take this opportunity to thank my blogger buddy crimson curls for nominating me!!
The rules
Display the logo on your post
Thank the blogger who nominated you
Using the alphabets, describe yourself
Nominate atleast a few bloggers

DESCRIBING ME
A-aimless
B-bipolar
C-cute
D-dirty
E-electrifying ( i might just give you a shock)
F-fascinating
G-giant nose
H-head blabberer
I-introvert
J-jasoos
K-kitty lover
L-lazy
M-mad
N-naive
O-obsessed
P-polite
Q-quintessential dreamer
R-radiant ( thanks to my new beauty cream!)
S-shy
T-thinker
U-utopian dweller
V-vengeful
W-witty
X-x......clueless
Y-yipeee (thats my fav noodles)
Z-zombie ( when i have nothing better to do, i stare blankly at people more like a zombie)

I nominate the following bloggers

the shameless blogger
mirage
the solitary writer
life as it is
cloud nine

MIGHTY MAKKHI AND MY MOUTH

I bet this age old adage has been heard by each one of us 'Arre muh band rakho,makkhi ghus jayegi'(keep your mouth shut or else a mosquito will enter your mouth). On second thoughts i wonder if makkhi is a mosquito  or a housefly! whatever it is do let me know. Moving on,i never paid much attention to this saying,rebuffing it as a silly and illogical statement until one not-so-fine day i had a first hand experience.

In my school days i was part of the school choir( more so referred to as the school chors (thief)) & there were about 10-15  'chors' like me.
All days i used to hide from the scrutinizing public view and settle for the last row of the choir but on that ill fated day i dont know what came in my mind and i 
decided to stand in the very first row,well exposed to all that constant grinning and dumb stares that 'chors' like us are bestowed  with , by the fellow students
I was standing right at the centre with an insanely huge fake smile plastered on my face, besides me stood my BF( best friend that is and lols! if you thought otherwise) and maybe she was the reason of that sudden boost in my confidence.I was singing like a pro, minding all the taal,sur & lay. My singing would have very well put lata mangeshkar and celine dion to shame.Just as the song was about to reach its crescendo and i was about to deliver that brilliant murki that i had in my head something entered my wide open mouth.In a reflex, i shut my mouth. Time stood still for me. Sur,taal & lay had abandoned me.The very well planned murki that could have even fetched me an oscar ALAS!! couldnt be executed.I stood like an embalmed egyptian mummy.My best friend noticed this and elbowed me. '' sing!!!, whats wrong". how in blazes could i tell her what the problem was i mean if i said anything that 'problem' would come out aswell which would be followed by her screeches.So i let it be but minutes later the whole school was staring at me. All those glares and unnecessary attention made me feel like a lovelorn puppy in  a new city! (baoooo!! i was wailing inside) while the mighty makhi explored my mouth and completed 24 revolutions of it!.I could have opened my mouth and let the makkhi and myself free but if i did so then everyone would have seen it and i would become the butt of all their jokes until they found another scapegoat.I had no better option but to continue with my act but then i felt the curious creature was ready to hijack my oesophagus & trachea, i sprinted my way to the loo. Somehow that scene bore striking resemblance to that of devdas's last scene, where paro ran.(rememeber!).
She ran for devdas while the end of her saree fluttered high and i ran for makkhi while the end of my dupatta was in the air!.I reached the loo just in time,that makkhi had almost entered my food pipe  when i puked it out.That tiny thing buzzed out of the exhaust fan.I came out of the loo victoriously.I deserved some gallantry award for that stint!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA

 

The hands that once caressed and combed his ruffled hair lay lifeless as she dozed off on his shoulders.

She was one big bag of bones. What were once luscious black curls had become a handful of white ones. Sense and sensibility had parted ways with her a long time ago.

Her words, once profound, were all gibberish. She, who lived for others and tended the needy, couldn’t even pick up a crumb by herself. How unkind and unruly of life!

“Ma, wake up,” he said, wiping the oatmeal that had been her breakfast, from her wrinkled cheeks.

“Ma, it’s your birthday today! Do you remember how you used to bake chocolate cake and how I would finish them even before the guests arrived?”

He asked her and she gave him a crooked smile.

“Ma, today I will bake for you,” he said, lightly pecking on her forehead. It was her 70^th birthday.

She had always celebrated his birthdays with immense spectacle and joy as if they were very important events. Alas, she retained no memories of them. She had even forgotten her own birthday.

The house was decorated like a newlywed bride. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA” proclaimed the banner on the wall. He had invited all their relatives to attend the party. The old lady rejoiced at the sight of so many people.

The star of the bash was the homemade cake. It didn’t matter that salt had been used in place of sugar or that it was slightly over baked. The dollops of unadulterated love that sweetened it, compensated for all that it lacked. He took one small piece and fed her. Happily, she clapped like a kid.

A teardrop escaped his eye, but the warmth of his mother’s hearty laughter dried up all his tears.