Sunday, 13 July 2014


At some wee hour in the morning, i woke up irritated by a cacophony coming from somewhere i was yet to find.
'' Juhi! Juhi!!'' said a shrill voice.
'' Who the hell is this!!'' I  asked holding my brother's baseball bat in death grip.I was ready to pull off a di maggio home run shot with it, the head of that mysterious thing would have served the purpose of the ball.
'' I am gattu'' The voice beamed.
'' Gattu!'' I put on a straight face. Why on earth would someone name their kid as bizarre as a gattu. An  image of a plump person with a giant head and paper thin limbs came in my mind, thats exactly how a gattu fellow can look like.
'' Okay so mr gattu, why cant i see you " 
" Thats because i am inside you
" What......... inside me!!! ". I suspiciously looked down upon my body, gazing at it as if it were someone else's. The voice seemed to be coming from the left of my back. My mind gave me weird and hilarious reasons to why i was hearing voices. Maybe the hilsa fish i had for lunch was alive and its doing all the talks or worse, maybe i am losing my mental stability thats why i am hearing voices but soon the rational part of my mind took over, maybe its all just a dream..... pheww. A logical assumption afterall.
" I am your kidney, silly girl" I heard the voice again.
" My kidney!!! " I pinched every inch of my body and slapped myself a good number of times to check whether i was dreaming or not. My swollen face and reddened body told i wasn't. 
" Juhi i need water" my kidney spoke
" water?? why? " 
" Thats because you dont drink enough water"
" Hang on!! First clear this doubt of mine. Every person has two kidneys, how come i have only one"
" Jeezzz you also have two kidneys, dumbo!. Meet my sister gatti. She is a bit shy."
" Hello" Came a timid and hardly audible reply.
Gatti and gattu are my kidneys. Whats next, My brain called bheja & stomach called pettu!!.
" Now some serious business juhi. See i am not a lazy bag like you. I work all day long and for that i need water. I gotta maintain homeostasis yaar!.
" Dude you are my kidney. How dare you call me a lazy bag. Tune mera namak khaya hai " I said with an air of authority.
" I use that ' namak' for your well being. Moreover i flush it out aswell." His tone hardened.
So here i was, at 1:00 am in the morning getting into a serious argument with my very own kidney!!.
" Okay so gattu tell me something about yourself " 
" oh yeah. I am gattu your kidney. I am a porous body with million tiny filters that process around 40 gallons of fluid each day, that much is enough to fill a house's hot water heater "
" When blood passes through me , the filters hold onto the substances you need for eg water & nutrients. Harmful waste and excess of water are routed to baddie ( thats my bladder!) who then flushes it away with urine."
" You know what juhi, it really saddens me that most of the ailments regarding me are never caught on time due to negligience of people. Only when matters get worsen do people come to  know of it. people go on boozing and eating unhealthy, not once thinking how adverse its affect would be on me.''
" So what are we supposed to do " i asked
" Start eating healthy. Cut down on alcohol and most importantly stay hydrated "
" Okay gattu. I'll surely take care of it. "
" by the way would you like to know about my kids "
" Yeah sure. "
" Meet my kids. Calcitrol, erythropoietin and renin "
" hellooo" They sang in unison. 
" Renin, are you a communist " I quipped.
I heard puffing sounds from my within & figured out that i had just angered a prime enzyme of my body.
" Hey! Now where is my water. I like it lukewarm, neither too hot nor too cold "
gattu spoke up.
I gulped down two full glasses of water. No more voices did i hear .Finally, i could take a nap now.

The phone loudly buzzed infront of my ears,I woke up in haste.My science book was wide open infront of me. ' Our excretory system' the heading on page read.

So all of this was just a dream although  i could feel my face was still swollen. Whatever it was, it surely taught me something. I gulped down another glass.So many questions in my mind but i better sleep, the last thing i want know is my brain telling me that i dont give it enough rest.


  1. Nicely expressed, Juhi. Yes, we do forget the water-intake that can ber terrible for the body.
    Important lesson here :)
    Did you know the name of the Asian Paints cartoon-brand-ambassador is also Gattu?
    Sweet name :)

    1. thanks anita :) and yeah i didnt knew gattu was a name used before :P

  2. hilarious one! you really thought hilsa fish was speaking at first ?? :P :P

    p.s- you reminded me of that chapter in 11th class (i hated it) :P ;)

    1. Being a bong my day starts with an hilsa and end on it too:P:P u should know that:D:D
      And I m really sorry for reminding u of that horrific chapter in cls 11th:(:P

  3. Girl you are awesome :D A hilarious post with a message in it. I will go drink water now.. else my gattu gatti might start screaming on me too :P

  4. Thank u swathi:D
    Yeah quickly gulp down that glass of water near u:P:P


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